How the one thing that you are trying to escape ends up being your one refuge. I'm talking about design. You want to get away, to stop working so hard and then turn around and feel purposeless. So you try to keep busy, read, write, and suddenly you're picking up a script and reading it with analysis in the back of your mind.
It's a sick, sick problem. Workaholism...
Went to the beach today and tried to relax and somehow mind wanders to work. Also missing John a bit and really jones-ing for a trip to the Adirondaks with him. There's nothing like New York mountains. Like my good friend Brooke says, while the North Carolina mountains are folksy and mysterious, the New England mountains are the stuff fairytales come from # BeautyandtheBeast.
Altogether, life is very pleasant in Red Bank. I can see getting very settled here but I know in my heart of hearts that I'm going to be wandering for a bit longer. Still debating New York in my heart. Something about the island makes me very claustrophobic. It's a little pressure cooker and sometimes I think we're all insane for wanting to live there, for in nature it is not really natural for humans to want to live caked on top of one another and packed in like sausages. I guess it's exciting. A spectrum of colors, flavors, smells and sights that don't really cross the general populace that you get inundated with on a daily basis.
Just wondering if I want to be inundated?
What draws me the most is the presence of Art there and the expectations of great works. I like that. I like people having high expectations and standards, to expect to be blown away, to want to forget where they are and be submerged in a Story for a while.
Is that all pretentious? I have to wonder- Are we merely pawns in a great scam that is Theatre? Does it suck away your substance and spit out something wonderful but leave you hallow on the inside?
I don't know.
These are questions to be experienced...
Anyhow. I should really read The Bacchae and The Tooth of Crime.
Still a little depressed about Game of Thrones, episode 9. Was trying to solve problems for the Starks in my dreams last night. Funny how a tv show can suck you in like that. I almost forgot that Tyrion Lannister must really be a dwarf in real life; he ceased to exist outside of the show for me. That's good storytelling.
Okay!
Away...
<3
